• Me: I understand that "eating for two" is not literal and really only means an extra couple hundred calories a day. And they should be calories from healthy choices!
• Also Me: I'm going to eat this whole fucking cake and you can't stop me, shut up, I'm pregnant.

(Source: urbanrealism)

eggpla:

anar-tea:

sectual-tention:

sm0k3-ring:

blackpoeticinjustice:

verdant-witch:

s1n-pie:

mizzhabibi:

surfshoggoth:

damncommunists:

ocelhira:

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

1. i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 
2. most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 
3. im not a pissbaby

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌

yesyesyesyes

7. I still don’t know how to season chicken

The only person you want is the person you can’t have. And the person you don’t want is the only person who seems to have any interest in you.